We're in family court to figure out custody and the kid is on the stand. Judge: Do you want to live with your father? Kid: No, he beats me! Judge: Do you want to live with your mother? Kid: No, she beats me! Judge: Well, who do you want to live with? Kid: The Jets. They never beat anybody!
BREAKING NEWS: New York Jets football practice was delayed nearly two hours today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. Head coach, Robert Saleh immediately suspended practice while police were called to investigate. After forensic analysis, experts determined that the white substance unknown to players was the GOAL LINE. Practice resumed after it was decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again this season.
