Hello Peanut

Discussion in 'BS Forum' started by abyzmul, Mar 27, 2024.

  1. abyzmul

    abyzmul R.J. MacReady, 2018 Funniest Member Award Winner

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    About 15 years ago, I took a new position at work and ended up on the other side of a cubicle wall from one of the more awkward and annoying people I have ever encountered. She had this need to trap you in a conversation, and she would almost physically block you from walking away. Like she was stalking her prey as she complained about not getting enough ketchup packets from Whataburger. Taking small sidesteps to block your escape route...

    Anyway, one day I'm clockwatching at my desk and I hear through the cube wall this lady take a personal call on her cell from her husband, or whoever would speak domestically to a weirdo like that. After a brief and forgotten conversation, she says "Sure, put him on." I'm only half-listening at this point until this fucking broad starts shouting "HELLO PEANUT. HELLO. HELLO PEANUT. HELLO PEANUT. I LOVE YOU. HELLO PEANUT."

    It felt like it lasted 30 minutes, but in reality was probably closer to 4 minutes. 4 full minutes of What The Fuck. After she said goodbye and she got up to go take shit or something, I rolled my chair over to a couple of neighbors and asked who the fuck Peanut was. It was her parrot. This shit happened every Thursday, it was like the train whistle on My Cousin Vinny.

    So today I'm walking out of the cafeteria and I walk past Parrot Lady for the first time in years, and I have had HELLO PEANUT echoing through my head for the past 7 hours. Fuck.
     
    #1 abyzmul, Mar 27, 2024
    Last edited: Mar 27, 2024
  2. jetophile

    jetophile Bruce Coslet's Daughter

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  3. Ralebird

    Ralebird Well-Known Member

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    It's been fifteen years, just let it go man.
     
  4. Savatage

    Savatage Well-Known Member

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    Seeing her is your "Pavlov's Bell".
     
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  5. Dierking

    Dierking Well-Known Member

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    Report her to Homeland Security.
     
  6. abyzmul

    abyzmul R.J. MacReady, 2018 Funniest Member Award Winner

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    Yep that's the person. They are everywhere actually.

    Edit: I wonder what that guy thinks about podcasts.
     
    #6 abyzmul, Mar 28, 2024
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2024
  7. abyzmul

    abyzmul R.J. MacReady, 2018 Funniest Member Award Winner

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    I just noticed that I inadvertently typed Fautanu rather than Fashanu in the 5th option in the poll. Please make note of that.
     
  8. thedonger

    thedonger Active Member

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    I guess the truly important question in all this is, is Whatabirger the best burger chain in the country?
     
  9. abyzmul

    abyzmul R.J. MacReady, 2018 Funniest Member Award Winner

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    As artery-clogging processed food goes, they do a fine job of it. I try to stay away from that stuff though, the best article of trash in the dumpster still smells like garbage juice.
     
  10. thedonger

    thedonger Active Member

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    Thank you for crushing my dreams.
     

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